I can not remember a time when I have so willed a half-term to be over. I think I have had enough of all this!

I have achieved several things these holidays, lots of needlefelting, lots of walks, started a new crochet project, had a 16 year olds birthday, and yet the days have dragged. Today is Saturday the first day with any promise of sun, it is already half way through and I am delighted, willing the hours to speed by until bedtime. My son and I have walked to the Triangle to get ingredients for his Scouts zoom meeting and to go to the bakers, I am now just sitting waiting for enough time to pass so I can start cooking lunch. I am fed up with this lockdown.

The fractured nights sleep doesn’t help- all the thoughts that only occur at 2-am rushed into my head- are we doing right by the children, is it healthy to let them watch youtube all day, should we do more family things, why do we have so much stuff, why isn’t all the work done from the extension, why haven’t we painted the kitchen. what are we going to do with the pinball machine….. and so on. All the small things- if they were big things I would have thought about them at a sensible time. So today I am tired and waiting for the day to be over whilst berating myself for wasting time. Sometimes I just need to be nicer to myself.

We are all back to our remote ‘school’ on Monday and waiting for Boris’ announcement about schools- which has supposedly already been leaked and supposedly already been opposed by the unions. I will happily risk a spike in cases for the children to be able to be back at school. I know that going on about mental health sometimes makes mental health worse, but honestly, why wouldn’t we want to let children go back as soon as possible, can’t we see the effects? The rise in more serious covid cases in children maybe might be linked to them being penned up for the last 11 months?? The good news is that the vaccine has- amazingly- reached the groups they were aiming for, let’s get the children back. Please.

I have been very wrapped up in all the things we can’t do in the lockdown, without realising how much more freedom the adults have had than the children. We have only our internal sense of law to govern us- I justified a 20 minute to drive for daily exercise for us all- they do not have the choice or the authority to decide on things like this. My husband has been in the office 2 days a week, I have been at school 4 days a week and supermarket shopping weekly, my children have gone nowhere they could not get to by walking from home- except for the one walk on Thursday where my son met a school friend and they walked and chatted for an hour,( my daughter has done the same- once- whilst I went shopping near the friends house).They have not complained, or questioned and they have done this with no idea as to when it will end or what the end will look like. Let’s get them all back on the 8th March and lets stand on the doorstep and clap them, the 10 million school children who have helped save the NHS.

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